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Editor's Note: The LBT recently has discovered certain of its writers embellishing stories for effect. These embellishments are under investigation. Until the investigation is complete, please corroborate all stories before making investment or any other decisions.


SAE Fraternity Members Could Face Capital Punishment

Oklahoma University President David Boren said Monday that he will order the expulsion of students participating in a racist chant caught on video and will request permission from the governor of Oklahoma to execute those students that appear in the video.  [More]


Las Vegas? Don't Even Go There

The LBT visits Las Vegas.  If picking up girls at nightclubs is not your reason to go there, then here is why you should think twice about going.  [More] 


Another Asian Airliner Crashes In Dramatic Fashion

The controversy surrounding Bad Asian Driving (or “BAD”) will flare up again after a Taiwanese TransAsia turboprop plane carrying 58 passengers and crew careened into a bridge on Wednesday.  The plane ended its flight in a small river in downtown Taipei.  At least 31 people are believed to have died.  Dozens more were injured.  [More]

White House Uses “Senór Scabie” To Educate Americans About Their New Microbial Infection

The White House Gets The Itch To Prepare Americans For Scabies Spread

Published August 1, 2014


In a speech on Friday primarily intended to address the surge of immigration entering the United States from Central America, President Obama tried to calm fears concerning the spread of scabies in Texas border counties.  In just the last week over 27,000 cases of scabies in Texas border counties have been reported to local health care professionals.  This is an over 100-fold increase from the normal rate.

According to Wikipedia, scabies is a contagious skin infection caused by the mite Sarcoptes scabiei.  The mite is a tiny, and usually not directly visible, parasite which burrows under the hos’s skin, which in most people causes an intense itching sensation caused by an allergic response.

“A lot of people think that scabies is like some virus that kills you or stays with you forever,” said the president on Friday.  “Let me tell you something, scabies is just a tiny little bug that goes away if treated.”  The president compared scabies to the microscopic bacteria that lives in the human body.  “We’ve got all kinds of critters living inside us; you don’t see me freaking out.”

The president also pointed out that scabies are part of our biological diversity.  “We know from experience that diversity is important to this country.  This includes our biological diversity.  “You can keep the scabies for awhile, try it out, and if it doesn’t work for you use the lotion and it’s gone.”

The president’s words come at a time when many Texans have grown afraid of sending their children to school in the fall for fear of contacting the disease.  In Michelle Obama’s most recent school visit to promote her healthy eating campaign her presentation included a new element: a cartoon mascot named “Senór Scabie”  “We need to take the scare out of scabies,” the first lady told a group of first graders in Monroe County Texas. "Scabies don't hurt you at all, they just make you feel a little itchy," she told the wide eyed group of children.  “Senór Scabie”  may become a major component of the White House’s plan to make Americans more comfortable with the refugees. 

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