At VP Debate Biden Lets His Teeth Do His Talking While His Cosmetic Dentist Proudly Watches On
By TRAVIS MOORE
Published October 12, 2012
DANVILLE, KY – Democrats were smiling on Friday after Vice President Biden’s high-spirited performance against Rep. Paul Ryan in their debate. Perhaps none were smiling as brightly as Herbert Feinberg, DDS – Mr. Biden’s cosemetic dentist.
Biden’s forceful defense of Pres. Obama’s record and blistering critique of Mitt Romney’s proposals were punctuated by broad smiles that highlighted Mr. Biden’s glorious tooth caps. From top to bottom and from left molar to right molar, Mr. Biden’s teeth showed geometric perfection that embarrassed candidate Ryan.
A generation ago, Mr. Biden’s teeth would have been an engineering impossibility. With advances in porcelain casting and adhesives, however, mouths like his can be had by virtually anyone willing to make the investment.
Dr. Feinberg said he was elated that his work could be seen by such a broad audience. “I could tell Joe wanted to show off his new ‘choppers’,” said Dr. Feinberg. Dr. Feinberg said that he installed tooth caps to every one of Mr. Biden’s teeth in 2010 after Mr. Biden began dating someone new. “He told me he wanted to look younger, and I said ‘let’s give you some big teeth.’”
What makes Mr. Biden’s teeth that much more amazing are there symmetry. According to Dr. Feinberg, they are almost indistinguishable from each other. This Dr. Feinberg calls “better than Mother Nature.”
Some voters did not hold back their enthusiasm. “I trust politicians that have good teeth because it means they take care of themselves,” said Sally Moore from Litchfield, Ohio.
Other voters do not like the articial look of Mr. Biden’s teeth. “With his hairplugs his teeth make him look even more freakish,” said Barney Miersch from Loveland, Ohio.