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Editor's Note: The LBT recently has discovered certain of its writers embellishing stories for effect. These embellishments are under investigation. Until the investigation is complete, please corroborate all stories before making investment or other decisions.

DATING/ROMANCE

Dating Advice For Dumpy Mom/Hot Teen Daughter Syndrome  

Dr. Katzenberg: I am a healthy 46-year-old male currently in a relationship with a 42-year-old mother of a 17-year-old daughter.  We have been living together for the past six months.   During the last two months I have sensed an awkward sexual tension between myself and the daughter.   It does not help that she is becoming a strikingly beautiful young woman.[More]

BEHEADINGS

Only Known Survivor Of A Beheading Tells His Story  

Investigative journalist Adam M. Barr was working on a story in Afghanistan near the Pakistani border when the terrorist group Al-Badr kidnapped him.  A CIA-led rescue mission was organized.  Barr was rescued, but only moments after his beheading.  Less than 24 hours later a German hospital successfully reattached his head to his body in a radical new procedure.  Barr lives to tell the tale of his beheading.

IMMIGRATION

Top Ten Lesson For Our Latino Workers

Our newest infusion of youths from Central America will soon add fresh blood to our Latino worker class.  Perhaps this is an appropriate time to convey to those already here a few salient points that they can use on the job and pass on to the millions of newcomers as they filter into the backrooms of our restaurants, health clubs, offices and homes. [More]


RACIAL TENSIONS

Actor May Play Officer Wilson In Show Trial To Placate African American Activists

Sources close to the White House tell The LBT that the Obama administration is in discussions with the St. Louis County Circuit Attorney's office to stage a false prosecution in the event a grand jury does not indict Officer Darrell Wilson.  These sources say that the Justice Department might use an actor to play Wilson in a mock trial to avoid rioting and placate Democratic voters.[More]

OBAMACARE/ABORTION

Post-Partum Abortions Mandated By Obamacare Stir Controversy

Religious right critics of Obamacare have a new objection to the statute: the requirement that Catholic charities pay for what is known as MOPT – or Mother-Opted Post-Partum Termination.  The procedure has become the center of controversy after a little-known provision was discovered that requires Catholic charities to pay for MOPTs. [More]

STATE OF THE CONSTITUTION

OBAMA TO DECLARE CONGRESS' ROLE AS "ADVISORY" AT STATE OF UNION ADDRESS

WASHINGTON — Aides to President Obama on Sunday confirmed that the president’s State of the Union address will include the announcement of a declaration to be made effective through executive order that Congress’ shall become “advisory.”  The purpose the executive order will be to counter Congress’ inaction on a number of legislative fronts.
FIRST [DE-]COUPLE

D.C. BOMBSHELL AS MICHELLE OBAMA HITS THE TOWN IN HAWAII

WASHINGTON – While Michelle parties in Hawaii and dances with ex-heavyweight champ Evander Holyfield, Obama stews in a political bloodbath as his healthcare law turns disastrous. Friends for both sides comment while the nation keeps its fingers crossed.
PUSSY RIOT

MILITARY SUCCEEDS IN REACHING SEXUAL HARASSMENT GOALS FOR 2013 THROUGH INCENTIVES

WASHINGTON – The number of reported sexual assaults across the military shot up by more than 50 percent this year, an increase that defense officials say reflects their success in encouraging female service members to report sexual assault.
NSA FIGHTING HATE

OBAMA AND HOLDER PREPARE TO MAKE ZIMMERMAN PAY FOR ELUDING PROSECUTION IN FL

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The White House announced plans for the NSA to begin screening emails of U.S. citizens for insensitive racial or cultural content. The plan has stirred controversy.”
RACIAL JUSTICE

OBAMA AND HOLDER PREPARE TO MAKE ZIMMERMAN PAY FOR ELUDING PROSECUTION IN FL

WASHINGTON, D.C. – George Zimmerman may be celebrating now, but his sense of relief may be short-lived.  Within 30 minutes of his acquittal, Attorney General Eric Holder tweeted: “#Zimmerman  Smile while you can.  There's a brother in the White House.”
AMICAE CURIAE

KAGAN AND SOTOMAYOR SHOCK SCOTUS BY ANNOUNCING THEIR GAY MARRIAGE

Immediately following the Supreme Court's gay marriage rulings, Justices Kagan and Sotomayor confirmed rumors by embracing and kissing in front of the rest of the panel. They plan to wed in September.
NAIL SALONS

Obama To Protect Needed Nail Salon Workers From Deportation 

As another hot summer descends on most parts of the country, more and more American women find themselves in an all too familiar quandary: not enough full service nail salons.  Latricia Bell of Westchester, PA says that for years her salon of choice – Magnifique Nails – closed too early or was not open on Sundays when she needed it.  “My look would get old but I couldn’t get an appointment after work,” she said.

WOMAN POWER

Exclusive Interview With Hillary Clinton 

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A brilliant, retentive intellect, a gift for flourishing notwithstanding sharp-elbowed politics, and a dynamic partner that twice won the White House.  The truth is, these forces actually did not take Hillary Rodham Clinton from a medium-sized Midwestern law firm to the White House, the U.S. Senate and, finally, the Secretary of State’s office. Sheer grit and old-fashioned determination did.

BENGHAZI-GATE

Clinton Connected To Kelley Who Exposed Petraeus Sex Scandal -- Specter Of Reliation Expands To Top Official 

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Benghazi scandal might have taken on yet another dimension.  Facts uncovered concerning the firing of Gen. David Petraeus indicate that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton may have played a role in exposing Petraeus’ extramarital affair with biographer Paula Broadwell.  Publication of this affair ultimately forced Petraeus to resign as CIA director.

BOSTON TERROR

FBI Releases High-Res Photo Of Bomber Suspect 

BOSTON — In an effort to apprehend the primary suspect in the Boston Marathon bombing, the FBI released a new image of the individual obtained early Thursday morning from a spectator's cell phone camera.  Authorities say that the increased clarity of the image makes its publication worth the risk that the suspect will take measures to avoid capture.

KLU KLUX KLAN

Klu Klux Klan Begins Accepting Jewish Members Into Its Ranks 

 The Department of Homeland Security has announced plans to release scores of undocumented detainees in anticipation of looming sequestration cuts.  In order to find work for the releasees, the White House announced a controversial new plan for temporary work visas for home improvement stores.

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