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Editor's Note: The LBT recently has discovered certain of its writers embellishing stories for effect. These embellishments are under investigation. Until the investigation is complete, please corroborate all stories before making investment or other decisions.

MODERN SANTA

Kris Kringle Opens Up About Being Santa In The Age Of Diversity

The man known as “Santa Clause” was born Kris Kringle near the hardscrabble town of Sandfjorden in the upper reaches of Norway. Kringle sat down with Peter Hartwig at a toasty café near his hometown to discuss his Christmas effort in 2014 and beyond.  [More]

RELATIONSHIPS

What To Do When Your Lady Must Lose Weight

The LBT's own Dr. Katzenberg speaks to a young man dealing with a girlfriend that could lose a few pounds.  As any man should know, a woman's body image is a very delicate subject.  Dr. Katzenberg provides a number of strategies depending on the scenario.  [More]

DEVOLUTION

Critic Argues Sam Smith Does Not Have The Musical Chops For Acclaim He Receives

Ebola remains highly contained in the U.S.  Indeed, today our worst contagion comes not from Africa but from our mother country – England.  By now nearly everyone has been exposed to the monstrosity known as “Sam Smith.”  [More]


FOOD FIGHT

Michelle Obama's Lunch Initiative Sparks Cafeteria Uprising

What began as an effort by Michelle Obama to return to safe harbors after the disastrous 2014 election turned into a real fight – a food fight, in fact.  Ms. Obama’s kerfuffle occurred on Friday when she spoke at Thomas Edison Middle School in Westchester, Texas. [More]

EBOLA SURVIVOR

Obama Meets With Ebola Survivor In Halloween Costume

On Friday President Obama met Nina Pham, a Dallas nurse who contracted Ebola and has since been declared free of the virus.  The president met Ms. Pham while keeping in the spirit of the season by dressing in his Halloween costume – a hazmat suit. [More]

GOING VIRAL

Obama Tells America To "Man Up" On Ebola Virus Spreading Inside Its Borders

In a statement made during a speech on the economy at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management, President Obama admonished concerned citizens that they would need to “man up” with respect to the Ebola virus[More]

SCABIES NOT SCARY

White House Prepares For Scabies Onslaught

In a speech primarily intended to address the surge of immigration entering the United States from Central America, President Obama tried to calm fears concerning the spread of scabies in Texas border counties.  In just the last week over 27,000 cases of scabies in Texas border counties have been reported[More]

RACIAL TENSIONS

Actor May Play Officer Wilson In Show Trial To Placate African American Activists

Sources close to the White House tell The LBT that the Obama administration is in discussions with the St. Louis County Circuit Attorney's office to stage a false prosecution in the event a grand jury does not indict Officer Darrell Wilson.  These sources say that the Justice Department might use an actor to play Wilson in a mock trial to avoid rioting and placate Democratic voters[More]

OBAMACARE/ABORTION

Post-Partum Abortions Mandated By Obamacare Stir Controversy

Religious right critics of Obamacare have a new objection to the statute: the requirement that Catholic charities pay for what is known as MOPT – or Mother-Opted Post-Partum Termination.  The procedure has become the center of controversy after a little-known provision was discovered that requires Catholic charities to pay for MOPTs. [More]

STATE OF THE CONSTITUTION

OBAMA TO DECLARE CONGRESS' ROLE AS "ADVISORY" AT STATE OF UNION ADDRESS

WASHINGTON — Aides to President Obama on Sunday confirmed that the president’s State of the Union address will include the announcement of a declaration to be made effective through executive order that Congress’ shall become “advisory.”  The purpose the executive order will be to counter Congress’ inaction on a number of legislative fronts.
FIRST [DE-]COUPLE

D.C. BOMBSHELL AS MICHELLE OBAMA HITS THE TOWN IN HAWAII

WASHINGTON – While Michelle parties in Hawaii and dances with ex-heavyweight champ Evander Holyfield, Obama stews in a political bloodbath as his healthcare law turns disastrous. Friends for both sides comment while the nation keeps its fingers crossed.
PUSSY RIOT

MILITARY SUCCEEDS IN REACHING SEXUAL HARASSMENT GOALS FOR 2013 THROUGH INCENTIVES

WASHINGTON – The number of reported sexual assaults across the military shot up by more than 50 percent this year, an increase that defense officials say reflects their success in encouraging female service members to report sexual assault.

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