RIDE SHARING

The Top Ten Complaints About Uber and Lyft

With more and more people relying on so-called ride sharing provided by powerhouses Uber and Lyft, not all is perfect in the world.  The LBT's resident curmudgeon Charles C. Schultz sounds off on his top ten complaints.  [More]

RIGHTIST TRUMP

Rumored Autistic Savant Barron Trump Shakes D.C. To Its Core

Barron Trump, the 11-year-old son of the president, arrived in D.C. wearing a now famous T-shirt bearing the message “The Expert.”  D.C. watchers claim that this message was not a mere accident.  Barron may be bringing a powerful, far-right influence into the West Wing.  [More]

 

Bruce Jenner Reconsidering Sex Change After Painful Anal Intercourse

Although Fatal Car Crash Cannot Stop The Former Olympic Hero, An Inelastic Sphincter Might Deal His Gender Transformation Bid An Overwhelming Blow

Published February 11, 2015

 

By KRISTINA NGU, MATT HUSSFORD, ALEXIS SHAWNEE, LEEZEL TANGLO and DEAN SCHABNERBERG

In 1976, Olympic legend Bruce Jenner dominated the decathalon by stretching his body to the limit.  Almost 40 years later, he is at risk of failing to reach the most important goal of his life because a small part of his body does not want to stretch.

The media expected Jenner to announce his intent to transform into a woman any day, but now it might never happen.  Sources close to Jenner say that his concern is with anal sex.

According to a close friend, Jenner confided that he has found anal intercourse to be “worse than Olympic training” in terms of pain.  Even when using state-of-the-art lubricants, Jenner appears to be nonplussed with receiving anal penetration.  “It’s either I keep suffering through this or I cut off my [penis] and get a vagina – and that’s not happening,” said the 65-year-old former gold medalist.

The transgender community has been rallying around Jenner since his plastic surgeries began in 2014, but no one anticipated this roadblock.  In fact, from outward appearances Jenner seemed near to completing his journey to womanhood.

TV talk show host and transgender advocate Brittania Foye said that most transgender women already have been practicing anal sex for many years before changing genders.  “I have told Bruce that I am so proud of him because he comes from a hetero lifestyle,” she said.  “Giving love anally [without pain] requires patience and time.”  Foye said that she was a genuine “sports jock” before her own transformation, and she compared beginning to give anal sex to breaking in a new baseball glove.  “You use oil and you soften up hard skin until it is flexible, just like a new baseball glove,” she said.

Some in the transgender community lamented that Jenner did not switch genders earlier in life since he has been in the spotlight for almost 40 years.  “When you are younger, you can still pull off all sort of fun outfits,” said transgender Monica Stenson, 28, of Laguna Beach, California.  “Also, it is easier to have anal intercourse for the first time when you are younger.”

If Jenner reverses course and returns to the masculine world, he might find a cool reception.  Men’s rights advocate Richard Johns said that for males Jenner has become persona non grata in the male community.  “When I was a kid, Jenner was there on my Wheaties box as an American hero and masculine role model,” he said.  “If he stops growing breasts and wearing dresses because his butt is not elastic enough, that does not redeem him.”

Jenner’s daughter, Kendra, 24, already has her own cosmetics line and has been looking forward to giving her dad a makeover as a transgender.  “I’ve had a lot of ideas so I’m sort of hoping he goes through with it,” she said.  Still, Kendra is understanding if her father/mother changes his/her mind.  “If it hurts him, then he shouldn’t do it so no matter what I’m 100-percent behind him,” she said.  But if he does complete the transformation, Kendra already has the perfect shade of blush picked out.  “Dad has great cheekbones,” she said.

Some speculate that Jenner’s recent fatal accident and police investigation somehow are contributing to the change of heart by Jenner.  Los Angeles County Police believe that Jenner was reaching for a cigarette before rear-ending a 69-year-old woman on the Pacific Coast Highway.  Jenner’s family remains supportive but a rift may have formed over Jenner’s possible cigarette habit.  His son, Cody, commented that he understands everything except the smoking.  “I can understand dad having surgery to remove his [genitals] or going to jail and being someone’s girlfriend in jail, but if he begins smoking I can’t stand by him,” he said.